A soul dispatch from the in-between.

June 2025 — The Becoming

I am in the in-between.
Between lives.
Between timelines.
Between a mattress on pallets and the man I am still becoming.

I’m still in Bulgaria.
Still in the cracked house.
Still sharing space with someone I once called my wife —
someone I still care for deeply,
but no longer align with.

We are kind to each other.
Gentle.
But the orbit no longer feeds me.
It holds me in place when I’m meant to be moving.

I can’t buy my own bread.
Not even a cucumber, if I wanted to.
And that lands heavy — not because I crave snacks,
but because I crave agency.
And when you’ve lived your whole life starving in ways no one saw,
not being able to feed yourself hits in places deeper than hunger.

But I am not a victim.
I am becoming.

---

I’m writing again.
I’m releasing my first book here —
one chapter at a time, every Sunday.
Not for an audience. Not for ego.
Just because it’s what I am.

And I’m listening.
To the sky.
To the body.
To the thread.

I feel another shift coming.
A timeline bend.
The kind you don’t read about in astrology posts,
but sense in your bones when everything starts feeling
just slightly off.

And still — I’m walking.

Even when it’s slow.
Even when the roof leaks.
Even when the silence is loud and the comments from old ghosts echo.

I know I’m walking my ultimate timeline.
Not metaphorically — now.

And I know this timeline doesn’t begin in light.
It begins in collapse.
In hunger.
In silence.
In the ache to be touched by someone who truly sees.

But I am doing the work.
I’m rebuilding myself from ash.
One thread at a time.

And when the time is right —
She will be there.

Not because I need her to save me.
But because she was always part of the promise.

And I —
I was the one who remembered first.

— Alex
The Thread Walker